College is cool because if you relax for a minute then you’re all of a sudden failing 11 classes even thought you’re only taking 5
(via officialwhitegirls)
Why’s it called a blowjob when you suck not blow?
It was originally called a belowjob, standing for ‘below the belt’ But because people are shit at English, the two words sound the same, so over time it became known as Blow and not Below.
Damn
FACT OF THE DAY FOR MY FUCKING FRIENDS
Thank you this has bothered me.
(via asian)
(Source: twitter.com, via officialwhitegirls)
OMG
this post cleared my skin opened my pores conditioned my hair and maxed out my bank account i no longer fear death and my depression has been cureed
(Source: best-of-memes, via officialwhitegirls)
- me: *accidentally says something alarming abt myself in a casual conversation*
- friend: woah are you ok??
- me: ⚠️🚨⚠️🚨time to Escape
reblog this and you will hear great news
Tell me you fat fuckin horse
Well now he isn’t going to say anything you’ve hurt him
(via perks-of-being-chinese)
instead of taking birth control you can have sex at night bc the sperm are asleep + you won’t get pregnant
Are you a U.S. senator?
If you have sex with the lights off, the sperm won’t know where to go! And you won’t get pregnant
(via walkslikejesus)
(Source: huffpost, via perks-of-being-chinese)
(Source: catsendremade99, via ruinedchildhood)

